105 BEST Funny Allergy Quotes (Carefully Selected)

Olivia M Williams Mar 15, 2023
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Table of Contents
  1. For You my special list of 105 carefully selected funny allergy quotes.
  2. Bonus especially for You: 3 Poems On Allergies!

Disclosure: Some of the links in this article may be affiliate links, which can provide compensation to me at no cost to you if you decide to purchase. This site is not intended to provide financial advice and is for entertainment only. 

For You my special list of 105 carefully selected funny allergy quotes.


(Additional Bonus for You: at the bottom of this post 3 poems about allergies for You) 


If you suffer from allergies, You know that they can be an annoying and sometimes even debilitating experience.


But there’s no reason to let Your allergies get the best of You! To help lighten up Your mood, I've compiled a list of funny allergy quotes specially for You.


These funny sayings will make You laugh out loud while giving a nod to the realities of living with seasonal or food allergies.


From witty one-liners to hilarious puns, these funny allergy quotes are sure to have You smiling in no time!

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So sit back and enjoy this carefully and specially for You curated list of funny allergy quotes – Your sense of humor is about to get an upgrade!


My Special List for You:


1. “Ah, springtime! The season of sneezes and wheezes!


2. “My allergies act up more often than my conscience.


3. “I'm allergic to mornings…and mornings are allergic to me too.


4. “Hey, did you know I'm allergic to pollen? Yeah? Well, so is everybody else in the whole world except for one guy—And he's lying about it just to look cool."


5. "My allergies are worse in the morning because that's when the plants wake up and start screaming at me.

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6. "Come on over - unless you have allergies... then stay away."


7. "An allergy is a sign that your body loves something too much.


8. "The funny thing about having seasonal allergies is that every season I forget how bad they can be until they hit me like a ton of bricks!

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9. "Why do people with seasonal allergies always seem so surprised when their symptoms come back around?


10. "Oh great, now even my eyes are sneezing!


11"Allergies got me feeling like I'm living in a really bad horror movie."


12. "My allergies are acting up so much, my body is its own personal weather system!


13. "If you can't handle me at my sneezes, you don't deserve me at my antihistamines.


14. "The funny thing about pollen allergy season is that everyone looks like they have a cold but they're just trying to keep their eyes open and not sneeze into each other's faces."


15. “I’m allergic to hay fever: it causes me to be grouchy all day!

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16. “Life with seasonal allergies isn’t easy, but I just have to keep telling myself: this too shall pass.


17. “My allergies are so bad I sneeze in Morse code.


18. “I used to be allergic to peanuts, but now I'm totally cool with them - as long as they stay on the other side of the room!” 


19."Allergies? More like aller-greetings! Get it?"

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20."Have you ever tried putting your head out of a moving car during allergy season? It's like being a vacuum cleaner!


21."I'm not allergic to anything—except for people who don't wash their hands after sneezing!


22."I'm allergic to anything that means I have to get up in the morning.


23. “My allergies are so bad, I sneeze whenever anyone says something funny!


24. "Today is my worst allergy day ever — don't even ask me what's making me sneeze!

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25."Just because I'm sneezing doesn't mean I'm sick; it just means I've been outside a little longer than usual!"


26. "The funny thing about pollen is that you never know when it's going to hit you!"


27. “If your eyes are red and puffy then you might have allergies, or you might just be crying because of your allergies.


28. "Life with allergies is like living in a bubble—you can see out but you can't go out!


29. "My nose has been sneezing so much lately I think it's developing its own sense of humor!"


30. "I'm allergic to dust—that means I'll never age, right?"

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31. "Allergy season makes me feel like I'm stuck inside an invisible prison cell."


32. “Do you know what happens when you mix dust and ragweed? A funny story about my last allergy attack!


33. "Just because I'm sneezing like crazy doesn't mean I'm sick—it just means my allergies are acting up!"


34. “My allergies have a funny way of showing me who's boss!


35. "I don't know why people complain about pollen season—it's actually quite funny if you look at it the right way!

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36. "If people say they're not allergic to something, they're probably lying—everyone's allergic to something!"


37. “I don’t have allergies — I just like sneezing a lot!” 


38. “Itchy eyes? Runny nose? Welcome to the funny side of allergy season!


39. "Ah, spring... when all those pesky flowers start screaming at you." - John Green 

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40. “My allergies only flare up when I'm around certain people… too bad it's everybody."


41. "Sneezing for no reason is funny unless it happens in church." - Lorraine Peterson 


42. "Every time my allergies act up, I feel like a prisoner in my own body"  


43. “Allergies are funny things — one minute you are fine and then suddenly your face turns into a tomato!


44. "Ahh Springtime... The time of year where the trees come back alive and try their best to make me suffer!"


45. “Seasonal allergies can be rough, but I just think of it as an excuse to stay inside and watch funny movies.

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46. “I didn't know what allergies were until I moved here — now I'm a pro at dealing with them!”  


47. "It's funny how people talk about 'allergy season' like it's something to look forward to... not!


48. "Whenever my allergies get bad, I find funny ways to make light of the situation."


49. "My allergies are a funny thing — one day they're mild, the next they've taken control of my life!


50. “My allergies are a funny thing – one day they're mild, the next day it feels like I'm breathing through a straw!”


51. "If sneezing is funny, why does it always catch me off guard?"

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52. “I don't mind having allergies if it gives me an excuse to stay away from people who make my nose twitch!"


53. "Allergies? More like aller-hilarious! Get it?!"


54. "Whenever my nose starts running that's when I know its time to start running...away from pollen!"


55. "My allergies only act up when someone tells a funny joke—not cool!"


56. “No matter how bad your allergies get, remember that laughter is still the best medicine!” 


57."Tissue? Check. Pillow? Check.- Allergy meds? Double check! It's preparedness season folks!"

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58. "Springtime means allergy time — so much for 'April showers bring May flowers.


59. "Allergy season isn't funny, but it is funny how I sneeze away my problems."


60. “My biggest allergy is people telling me to get over them


61. “My allergies are funny—they only make an appearance when someone tells a bad joke!


62. "A funny thing happened on the way to the pollen count: I started sneezing!"

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63. "Some days all you can do is laugh with your allergies — no one else gets it anyway


64. “I'm not allergic to anything except people's attempts at funny jokes during allergy season!


65. “If sneezing was contagious then everyone would be highly contagious during springtime!


66. “Allergies are funny—one minute you’re fine and the next your face turns into a tomato!


67. “Seasonal allergies can be rough, but it's just an excuse to stay inside and watch funny movies!

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68. "If sneezing was funny, why does it always catch me off guard?


69. “My biggest allergy is people telling me to get over them


70. "Tissue? Check. Pillow? Check.- Allergy meds? Double check! It's preparedness season folks!” 


71. "Every time my allergies act up, I feel like a prisoner in my own body"  


72. "Ahh Springtime...The time of year where the trees come back alive and try their best to make me suffer!


73. "Whenever my nose starts running that's when I know its time to start running...away from pollen!


74. "Some days all you can do is laugh with your allergies — no one else gets it anyway"

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75.  “I don't have allergies — my allergies have me


76. "My allergies only act up when someone tells a funny joke—not cool!


77. “Whenever my allergies get bad, I find funny ways to make light of the situation

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78. “No matter how bad your allergies get, remember that laughter is still the best medicine!” 


79. “I'm not allergic to anything except people's attempts at funny jokes during allergy season!


80. "If sneezing was funny, why does it always catch me off guard?


81. “My biggest allergy is people telling me to get over them” 


82. "Every time my allergies act up, I feel like a prisoner in my own body"  


83. "Ahh Springtime...The time of year where the trees come back alive and try their best to make me suffer!

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84. "Whenever my nose starts running that's when I know its time to start running...away from pollen!


85. "Some days all you can do is laugh with your allergies — no one else gets it anyway"


86. “My allergies are a funny thing – one day they're mild, the next day it feels like I'm breathing through a straw!


87. "If sneezing is funny, why does it always catch me off guard?"


88. “I don't mind having allergies if it gives me an excuse to stay away from people who make my nose twitch!"


89. "Allergies? More like aller-hilarious! Get it?!"


90. "Whenever my nose starts running that's when I know its time to start running...away from pollen!"

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91. "My allergies only act up when someone tells a funny joke—not cool!"


92. “No matter how bad your allergies get, remember that laughter is still the best medicine!” 


93. "Tissue? Check. Pillow? Check.- Allergy meds? Double check! It's preparedness season folks!"

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94. "Springtime means allergy time — so much for 'April showers bring May flowers."


95. "Allergy season isn't funny, but it is funny how I sneeze away my problems."


96. “My biggest allergy is people telling me to get over them


97. "If sneezing was funny, why does it always catch me off guard?"


98. “Whenever my allergies get bad, I find funny ways to make light of the situation

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99. “No matter how bad your allergies get, remember that laughter is still the best medicine!


100. “I'm not allergic to anything except people's attempts at funny jokes during allergy season!


101. "Allergies? More like aller-hilarious! Get it?!"


102. "Ahh Springtime...The time of year where the trees come back alive and try their best to make me suffer!"


103. "Every time my allergies act up, I feel like a prisoner in my own body"


104."Springtime means allergy time — so much for 'April showers bring May flowers."

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105. “I don't mind having allergies if it gives me an excuse to stay away from people who make my nose twitch!"


Bonus especially for You: 3 Poems On Allergies!


Poem 1: "An Allergy Poem"


Itchy eyes and a scratchy throat,

The sneezing never stops, I’d rather float;

My nose is running like a river so deep,

I wish it would stop, but it won’t, not even with a peep.


My mind races while my body aches,

My allergies are making me feel insane;

Uncontrollable coughing and an unbearable itching,

Will this ever stop? I just can’t believe it!


The pollen in the air is just too much to bear,

My eyes are on fire like a raging inferno;

The dust particles cause my sneezes to flare up high,

As I search for tissues there isn’t any nearby.


The dander of cats makes me wheeze and gasp,

While the fur of dogs makes me start to cough;

The flowers make me sneeze uncontrollably all night long,

Making me want to flee from this allergy-filled song.


There's no cure for what I have come to fear,

Allergies give me another reason to shed a tear;

I cover my face with an old scarf of mine,

To protect myself from this pollen-filled vine.



Poem 2: "Oh allergies, oh allergies!"


Oh allergies, oh allergies,

Why must you plague me so?

You make me sneeze, and feel like I'm in a prison cell,

Caught in a fog-like darkness, with no way to go.


Your pollen blows in springtime's breeze,

Making me itch and squirm.

My eyes swell up and start to water,

My nose starts to drip like an old leaky faucet that whirs.

The only thing I can do is take my medication and try to cope

For there's no way to outrun this annual seasonal parade of hope.

Though my symptoms vary in intensity from day-to-day,

I must double check my meds and stay prepared for the hay fever's fray.


Oftentimes it takes humor for me to cope with all the sneezing woes;

Even if it means having to laugh at my own foes.

So when pollen starts to fill the air and my sniffles start to peak,

I think of funny jokes that lighten the mood and make it less bleak.


Stuffiness comes and goes with every allergy season switch;

But some people just don't understand how hard it can be just not to itch! So with each step I take along this journey of sneezy despair,

I remember that laughter is the best medicine for when things aren't fair.


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Poem 3: "Ahh springtime."


Ahh springtime, the season of allergies

Where sneezing is a way to express our worries

You're stuck inside when you'd rather be out

Dreaming of freer days that are filled with no doubt


Where breathing is easy and a joyous delight

But instead sniffles and sneezes pierce through the night

The world erupts in yellow, pink and white

It may look pretty but prepare for a fight!


Your nose starts running, eyes well up with tears

Your head aches from all that pollen in the air

Tissue? Check. Pillow? Check - Allergy meds? Double check!

It's preparedness season folks, no need to fret!


Every time your allergies act up, you feel like a prisoner in your own body

And when someone tells a joke you can't help but groan - Not cool!

Whenever your allergies get bad try to make light of the situation

Remember that laughter is still the best medicine for any generation.


So if sneezing is funny why does it always catch us off guard?

No one else understands but we know it's hard!

We often complain about how allergies have us under their control

But if we take care of ourselves then we'll make our own goal.


My biggest allergy is people telling me to get over them

So I take solace in staying away from those who make my nose twitch.

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Allergies more like aller-hilarious, get it? (Wink wink)


It's an ongoing struggle trying to keep up with them all

But despite it all let's use this time to have a ball.


When April showers bring May flowers be sure you've taken precautions

With tissue checked and your pillow ready - just be sure to practice discretion!


Ahh Springtime...The time of year where the trees come back alive and try their best to make us suffer But some days when there's nothing left we can do just laugh it off together!

I hope that these funny allergy quotes made You smile and gave You a break from Your daily struggle with seasonal and perennial allergies.


Stay safe and enjoy the springtime, summertime or any other season – just be sure to take good care of Yourself!

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And if all else fails, grab some antihistamines and relax– You're in for an adventure!


Happy sneezing and wheezing everyone!



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Table of Contents
  1. For You my special list of 105 carefully selected funny allergy quotes.
  2. Bonus especially for You: 3 Poems On Allergies!

Disclosure:  Some of the links in this article may be affiliate links, which can provide compensation to me at no cost to you if you decide to purchase. This site is not intended to provide financial advice and is for entertainment only.