227 BEST Funny Wedding Speech Quotes (Selected)

Olivia M Williams Mar 13, 2023
45 People Read
wedding

Disclosure: Some of the links in this article may be affiliate links, which can provide compensation to me at no cost to you if you decide to purchase. This site is not intended to provide financial advice and is for entertainment only. 

Are you looking for funny wedding speech quotes to add some light-hearted humor to your big day? If so, then you have come to the right place!


Wedding speeches are a great way to express love and gratitude between two families, but they don’t always have to be serious.


Adding funny wedding speech quotes is an excellent way to break the ice and get everyone laughing.


From funny one-liners to hilarious stories, these quotes will make your guests chuckle with delight.


So if you’re ready for some good old fashioned laughter, read on for 227 of my favorite funny wedding speech quotes!


1. “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half-shut afterwards.” - Benjamin Franklin


2. “To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up." - Ogden Nash


3. "The most important four words for a successful marriage: I will listen." - Unknown


4. “Marriage is give and take—you’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway!" - Joe Lewis


5. “A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong." – Mickey Rooney


6. “Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water . . . after you get used to it, it ain't so hot" – Minnie Pearl


7. "Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock." — Unknown


8. "My advice to couples who are about to marry....Don't!" — Henny Youngman


9. “Marriage is a wonderful invention; but then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.” - Billy Connolly


10. “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." – Ruth Bell Graham


11. "The secret of a successful marriage remains a secret." – Henny Youngman


12. “I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of

your life." — Rita Rudner


13. "Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through nose of the gentleman".― Herbert Spencer


14. "It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss"— Unknown


15 .“Love blooms where there are no demands, where there is total acceptance without conditions or expectations."— Osho


16 .”If I get married, I want to be very married" — Audrey Hepburn


17 .”My wife and I were happy for twenty years…then we met each other!" — Rodney Dangerfield


18 ."There's only one way to have


19. "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." – Mignon McLaughlin


20. “It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”– Rita Rudner


21. "Marriage is like a deck of cards; In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond" — Unknown


22. “After seven years of marriage I still feel like my wife and I are on our honeymoon every day!”— Harry Connick Jr


23. “I don't think anyone should get married before they're thirty-five; you've got to get your own head sorted out first."― Hugh Grant


24. "The greatest marriages are built on teamwork - A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and lots of patience." - Unknown


25 .“Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master" ― Anonymous


26 .“If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention to what you have to say, talk in their love language!"― Gary Chapman


27. “Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!” ― Anonymous


28. “The most important four words for a successful marriage: I will listen." - Unknown


29. "Love blooms where there are no demands, where there is total acceptance without conditions or expectations."— Osho


30. “When you make a sacrifice in marriage, you're sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship." — Joseph Campbell


31. "It's funny how when it comes to love the only people who don't talk about it are married couples!" - Unknown


32. “Being someone's first love may be great, but being their last love is beyond perfect" – Bob Marley


33 .“A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendships, all the enjoyment of sense and reason – and indeed more too"― Samuel Richardson


34 .”You don't marry someone you can live with — you marry someone you cannot live without."― Anonymous


35 .”In every good marriage, it helps sometimes to be blind; deaf also would not be bad"―


36. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” – Groucho Marx


37. "The best way to stay happily married is to be prepared for anything and learn to adapt." – Unknown


38. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person”— Mignon McLaughlin


39 ."Love doesn't make the world go round; marriage does it!" — Dave Barry


40 .“There's one sure way to get nothing done: marry a man who's just got married!” ― Anonymous


41 .“If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention you what have said talk in their love language!”― Gary Chapman


42. “Getting married is like getting into a tub of hot water…after you get used too it ain't so hot!" - Minnie Pearl


43."No matter how much cats fight, there always seem be plenty of kittens" — Abraham Lincoln


44 ."My wife says I never listen to her...or something like that." — Unknown


45 ."If there ever comes a day when we can


46. “A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.

The order varies for any given year” -Paul Sweeney


47. “The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret” -Henny Youngman


48. "Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master" ― Anonymous


49. “Love may be blind but marriage is certainly an eye opener!”― Unknown


50. "Marriage isn't about age; it's about finding the right person." — Sophia Bush


51 .”My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way." — Henny Youngman


52 .“You don't marry someone you can live with – you marry someone you cannot live without!”― Anonymous


53 ."If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart I'll stay there forever" — Winnie The Pooh


54 ."To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup Whenever you're wrong admit it; Whenever you're right shut up."— Ogden Nash


55. "A happy marriage has in it all the pleasure of life, and more" – Unknown


56 .“To keep your marriage brimming with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong admit it and whenever you're right shut up."― Ogden Nash


57 .”My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.” ― Winston Churchill


58. “It takes a strong man and woman for a successful marriage; one of them must be strong enough to think that two are better than one." — Unknown


59 ."In every good marriage 'I' is replaced by 'We', except in then telling of its stories!" - Unknown


60 ."What counts most in making a happy relationship is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility."— Leo Tolstoy


61 .”Marriage isn't about finding someone you can live with…it's about finding someone who cannot live without doing so! ― Anonymous


62 . “A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.”― Dave Willis


63 ."The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." — Henny Youngman


64 .”The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and let it come in.”― Morrie Schwartz


65 ."If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention to what you have said talk in their love language!"— Gary Chapman


66 ."Your soul mate isn't the person who makes you the happiest, but the one who makes you feel the most." — Unknown


67 . “Marriage should be between two people who trust each other enough to tell each other anything and everything.” ― Anonymous


68 ."A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it


69. “Love is the only thing that can make two people sit in the middle of a bench when there’s plenty of room at both ends.” ― Bill Vaughan


70. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” ― Mignon McLaughlin


71 . "Marriage is not about age; it's about finding the right person."― Sophia Bush


72 . "There's nothing like knowing someone loves you and wants to grow old with you!" ― Unknown


73 . “The difference between an ordinary marriage and an extraordinary marriage is in giving just a little bit more,"— Unknown


74 ."A great marriage isn't something that just happens; it's something that must be created." — Fawn Weaver


75 ."When a couple has been together for many years, their memories and experiences are intertwined" - Unknown


76 ."The best way to stay married is to become best friends" — Anonymous


77. "Your spouse should be your best friend – after all you are going to spend most of your time together!" ― Anonymous


78 .“Happy Easter to the woman in my life who I can't live without – thank you for being an incredible Mom!"


79. “Love doesn't just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.” ― Ursula K. Le Guin


80 .“Marriage is an adventure, like going to war." — Gilbert K. Chesterton


81 . “A happy marriage is one that consists of two forgivers!”― Anonymous


82 ."A strong marriage requires choosing each other every day" — Unknown


83 ."The biggest challenge in marriage is learning to forgive and forget the bad days you have together" — Unknown

84 ."A great marriage isn't something that just happens; it's something that must be created" — Fawn Weaver


85 . "When two people are meant for each other no time is too long, no distance too far and nobody can keep them apart!"— Anonymous


86."You don't marry someone you can live with – you marry someone who cannot live without doing so!"― Anonymous


87."If I could offer only one piece of advice for a happy marriage: It would be 'Just don't give up.'"— Unknown


88 . “Love isn't finding the perfect person, it's seeing an imperfect person perfectly – wishing you lots of love this Easter, Mom!”


89. “A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together, but it is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” ― Dave Meurer


90. “Make your partner a priority in your life and keep the romance alive by expressing your love for each other every day”― Anonymous


91 . "The most important thing in a marriage is not happiness, but stability." — Goethe


92 . "Marriage isn't about being inseparable; it's about two people being true to each other even when they are separated" — Unknown


93 . "The happiest marriages are based on a deep mutual respect and admiration."— Amy Grant


94 ."No one can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a happy ending"— Maria Robinson


95 ."Marriage isn't something you work at; it's something that you practice every day!" -Unknown


96 ."Relationships last longer if they're built on trust rather than just infatuation" –Anonymous


97 ."Marriage means joining hands with someone else in order to reach common goals" — Unknown


98 . “Love doesn't make the world go round, but it sure makes the ride worthwhile – have a wonderful Easter, Mom!”


99. “Marriage is like a long journey through a desert; there will be obstacles, but the destination makes it all worthwhile.” ― Unknown


100 . "A marriage is not just about two people being together, it's also about finding out who you are and learning to love the person inside you" — Anonymous


101 . "It takes courage to stay in a marriage when things get tough, but that's what true love is all about" — Unknown


102 . “In a good relationship, partners should strive to bring out the best in each other.”― Rick Warren


103 . "When two hearts are meant for each other no matter how long it takes they'll always find their way back." ― Anonymous


104 . "The secret of having a successful marriage lies not so much in finding the right person as in being the right person." –Anonymous


105 ."Real love isn't based on romancing; it's based on caring,"—Unknown


106 ."Marriage isn't only made up of moments of joy, but also moments of pain" — Unknown


107 ."True happiness comes from finding someone who loves you as much as you love them!"


108. "A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity." – Paul Sweeney


109. “The greatest marriages are built on teamwork. A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace” ― Fawn Weaver


110. “When two people understand each other in their differences they can be unstoppable together!” ― Unknown


111."Marriage isn't only about romance; it's also about companionship" — Unknown


112 ."Love doesn't end when you say 'I do' but it begins with those two words!"― Anonymous


113 . "An anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday and the hopes of tomorrow!"—Anonymous


114 ."Marriage isn't just finding someone you can live with; it's finding someone who will make your life better than before" —Unknown


115 . "If I'd have known that getting married would make me this happy then I'd have done it years ago!"—Anonymous


116 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up


117. “Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story.” ― Jennifer Smith


118. "In marriage do thou be wise: prefer the person before money, virtue before beauty, the mind before the body." — William Penn


119 . "A happy marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love." — Pearl S. Buck


120 ."A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with same person" –Mignon McLaughlin


121 . "Love doesn't make the world go round; it makes all worlds worth going around!" — Anonymous


122 . “The greatest marriages are built on teamwork; a mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love & grace”― Fawn Weaver


123 ."When two people understand each other in their differences they can be unstoppable together!"—Unknown


124 . “It's not about being inseparable; It's about being separated but still connected at heart!” ― Unknown


125 ."If I'd have known someone so perfect existed I'd have waited my whole life to find you – happy Easter with lots of love, Mom!”


126. “A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.” – Paul Sweeney


127. “Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash!”― Joyce Brothers


128. “If you want a great marriage then don't let yourself be controlled by your emotions or dominated by your feelings" — Unknown


129. "Love isn't about holding hands and spending time together; it's about making memories that last forever!"—Unknown


130 . "The beauty of marriage lies in its ability to bring two complete strangers into one happy family!"—Anonymous


131 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up." ― Ogden Nash


132 . "Each day of married life should make us better than before" — Anonymous


133 . "In an ideal relationship one doesn't have to try hard because both parties work towards each other's happiness." ― Unknown


134 . “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times always with same person”― Mignon McLaughlin


135 .“True happiness comes from finding the one you love, and I'm so blessed to have found you – wishing you a very joyous Easter, Mom!”


136. “Marriage is a fine institution but I’m not ready for an institution yet.”― Mae West


137. “Love isn't cancelled, wedding are postponed!”― Unknown


138. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret!” ― Henny Youngman


139. "A funny thing happens when you marry your best friend; they become even better!" — Anonymous


140 . "It's funny how the same problem that can make us so mad can also make us laugh" —Anonymous


141 . "Marriage is like jogging through life together with someone who doesn't take shortcuts."—Unknown


142 . "It takes two special people to make a wonderful marriage and the both of you have it all!" —Unknown


143 ."If I had one wish I'd want to be married again and again in every lifetime."—Anonymous


144 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up" – Ogden Nash


145 . “A great marriage is not when the perfect couple comes together, it's when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy


146. “My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.”― Winston Churchill


147. “A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.” – Paul Sweeney


148 . "The funny thing about marriage is that you think it will change everything but really it changes nothing."—Unknown


149 ."Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years" — Ogden Nash


150 . "I don't know why people get married; if I wanted a joke I'd just read the vows out loud!"— Anonymous


151 . “No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman." ― Honore de Balzac


152 . "Marriage isn't only a bond between two people; it's also a union between two families!" —Anonymous


153 ."When you realize your own worth you start looking for someone who can value your life not someone who can give it away" ― Unknown


154 . “First comes love then comes marriage, then comes a bundle of joy to fill your hearts with lots of happiness – Happy Easter to both of you!”


155. “Marriage: Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.”―Pauline Thomason


156. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret!” ― Henny Youngman


157. "When you realize your own worth you start looking for someone who can value your life not someone who can give it away" ― Unknown


158 . "A funny thing happens when you marry your best friend; they become even better!" — Anonymous


159 . "Love isn't about holding hands and spending time together; it's about making memories that last forever!"—Unknown


160 ."The beauty of marriage lies in its ability to bring two complete strangers into one happy family!"—Anonymous


161 . “No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman." ― Honore de Balzac


162 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up."― Ogden Nash


163. “It takes three to make love, not two: you, your spouse, and God." – Frederick K.C Price


164. “Marriage is a funny thing…it’s an agreement between two people to be together until one of them gets tired and quits”― Unknown


165. “The funny thing about marriage is that you think it will change everything but really it changes nothing!”― Anonymous


166. "It's funny how the same problem that can make us so mad can also make us laugh" —Anonymous


167 . "Love isn't cancelled, weddings are postponed!" ― Unknown


168. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times always with the same person." ― Mignon McLaughlin


169 ."I don't know why people get married; if I wanted a joke I'd just read the vows out loud!"— Anonymous


170 . "If I had one wish I'd want to be married again and again in every lifetime."—Anonymous


171 . “One advantage of marriage: If you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until maybe you fall in again" – Judith Viorst


172. “A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together.;


173. “It's funny how two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different" —Anonymous


174. “The funny thing about marriage is that you think it will change everything but really it changes nothing!”― Anonymous


175. "In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."—Woody Allen


176 . "A funny thing happens when you marry your best friend; they become even better!" — Anonymous


177 . “Marriage isn't only a bond between two people; it's also a union between two families!" ―Anonymous


178 ."Love isn't cancelled, weddings are postponed!" ― Unknown


179 . “First comes love then comes marriage...then come some arguments about whose turn it is to take out the bin”― Unknown


180 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up."― Ogden Nash


181. "When two people are under one roof, there will always be disagreements…but thank goodness for makeup sex." -Unknown


182. "Behind every successful man is a surprised woman"


183. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.”― Will Ferrell


184. "There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again." -Clint Eastwood


185 . “Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.” ― H L Mencken


186 ."My advice on getting married: if you're thinking about it, don't do it!"— Anonymous


187 . “Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts" –Jeff Foxworthy


188 . "Marriage isn't just walking hand in hand through life; sometimes it means holding each other up when things go wrong." —Anonymous


189 . "When two people are under one roof, there will always be disagreements…but thank goodness for makeup sex." -Unknown


190 ."A funny thing happens when you marry your best friend; they become even better!" — Anonymous


191 ."A great marriage isn't something that just happens; it requires commitment patience understanding compromise respect and


192. “If you want your wife to listen and pay attention to every detail, talk in your sleep.”― Unknown


193. “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." ― Ruth Bell Graham


194. "Love isn't cancelled, weddings are postponed!" ― Unknown


195 . “The funny thing about marriage is that you think it will change everything but really it changes nothing!”― Anonymous


196 . "Marriage isn't only a bond between two people; it's also a union between two families!" ―Anonymous


197 ."Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are."― Will Ferrell


198 . "In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."—Woody Allen


199 . "It takes three to make love, not two: you, your spouse, and God" – Frederick K.C Price


200 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up."― Ogden Nash


201. “A funny thing happens when you marry your best friend; they become even better!" — Anonymous


202. "Love isn't cancelled, weddings are postponed!" ― Unknown


203. “The funny thing about marriage is that you think it will change everything but really it changes nothing!”― Anonymous


204 . "Marriage isn't only a bond between two people; it's also a union between two families!" ―Anonymous


205 ."Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are."― Will Ferrell


206 . "In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."—Woody Allen


207 . "It takes three to make love, not two: you, your spouse and God" – Frederick K.C Price


208 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up."― Ogden Nash


209. “If you want your wife to listen and pay attention to every detail talk in your sleep.”― Unknown


210 . “A happy marriage is a long journey of companionship, love and laughter – wishing the two of you lots of joy this Easter!”


211. “The secret to having a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re right if you love to be with them all the time.” ―Julia Child


212 . “A wedding ring is just an expensive paperweight if you don't have the commitment and love behind it!”― Anonymous


213 . "For better or worse, but never for lunch." – Dorothy Parker


214 . “Marriage isn't a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get It is something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day.”― Barbara De Angelis


215 . "Behind every successful man is an astonished woman."— Maryon Pearson


216 ."Here's to my wife: My constant friend, my faithful partner and my one true love" —Anonymous


217 . "My husband was reassuring on our wedding day: 'Don't worry darling, I'm sure it will pass'". – Unknown


218 ."When two people are under one roof, there will always be quarrels…but thank goodness for makeup sex!" —Unknown


219 .“I married Miss Right; I just didn't know her first name was 'Always' – wishing both of you a very happy Easter together!”


220. “Marriage isn’t a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get, it is something you do." –Barbara De Angelis


221. "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." —Mignon McLaughlin


222. "Love is an alliance of friendship and animal instinct."—George Santayana


223. "The best thing about being married is that I no longer have to deal with strange men flirting with me at bars!"— Anonymous


224 . “Being someone's first love may be great but to be their last is beyond perfect!”― Unknown


225 . “No one knows what marriage means until they've been married. Then it's too late" ―Oscar Wilde


226 ."Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one"– Benjamin Franklin


227 . "Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm... As you grow older, remember: You have another hand: The first are God's." - Sam Levenson

Please note

https://dollverse.com/ site is valuable resource, but when it comes to matters of health, always consult with a trained medical professional.

Never rely solely on digital information.

Taking into account your individual situation will help you make the best decisions for your own wellbeing.

https://dollverse.com/ site serves as an informative resource, but should never be used to diagnose or treat a medical condition.

When it comes to your health, always consult with a qualified doctor for the best advice and care tailored specifically for you!

https://dollverse.com/ site and the materials and information it contains are not intended to, and do not constitute, medical or other health advice or diagnosis and should not be used as such.

You should always consult with a qualified physician or health professional about your specific circumstances.

Disclosure:  Some of the links in this article may be affiliate links, which can provide compensation to me at no cost to you if you decide to purchase. This site is not intended to provide financial advice and is for entertainment only.