227 BEST Funny Wedding Speech Quotes (Selected)
Disclosure: Some of the links in this article may be affiliate links, which can provide compensation to me at no cost to you if you decide to purchase. This site is not intended to provide financial advice and is for entertainment only.
Are you looking for funny wedding speech quotes to add some light-hearted humor to your big day? If so, then you have come to the right place!
Wedding speeches are a great way to express love and gratitude between two families, but they don’t always have to be serious.
Adding funny wedding speech quotes is an excellent way to break the ice and get everyone laughing.
From funny one-liners to hilarious stories, these quotes will make your guests chuckle with delight.
So if you’re ready for some good old fashioned laughter, read on for 227 of my favorite funny wedding speech quotes!
1. “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half-shut afterwards.” - Benjamin Franklin
2. “To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up." - Ogden Nash
3. "The most important four words for a successful marriage: I will listen." - Unknown
4. “Marriage is give and take—you’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway!" - Joe Lewis
5. “A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong." – Mickey Rooney
6. “Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water . . . after you get used to it, it ain't so hot" – Minnie Pearl
7. "Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock." — Unknown
8. "My advice to couples who are about to marry....Don't!" — Henny Youngman
9. “Marriage is a wonderful invention; but then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.” - Billy Connolly
10. “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." – Ruth Bell Graham
11. "The secret of a successful marriage remains a secret." – Henny Youngman
12. “I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of
your life." — Rita Rudner
13. "Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through nose of the gentleman".― Herbert Spencer
14. "It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss"— Unknown
15 .“Love blooms where there are no demands, where there is total acceptance without conditions or expectations."— Osho
16 .”If I get married, I want to be very married" — Audrey Hepburn
17 .”My wife and I were happy for twenty years…then we met each other!" — Rodney Dangerfield
18 ."There's only one way to have
19. "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." – Mignon McLaughlin
20. “It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”– Rita Rudner
21. "Marriage is like a deck of cards; In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond" — Unknown
22. “After seven years of marriage I still feel like my wife and I are on our honeymoon every day!”— Harry Connick Jr
23. “I don't think anyone should get married before they're thirty-five; you've got to get your own head sorted out first."― Hugh Grant
24. "The greatest marriages are built on teamwork - A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and lots of patience." - Unknown
25 .“Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master" ― Anonymous
26 .“If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention to what you have to say, talk in their love language!"― Gary Chapman
27. “Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!” ― Anonymous
28. “The most important four words for a successful marriage: I will listen." - Unknown
29. "Love blooms where there are no demands, where there is total acceptance without conditions or expectations."— Osho
30. “When you make a sacrifice in marriage, you're sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship." — Joseph Campbell
31. "It's funny how when it comes to love the only people who don't talk about it are married couples!" - Unknown
32. “Being someone's first love may be great, but being their last love is beyond perfect" – Bob Marley
33 .“A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendships, all the enjoyment of sense and reason – and indeed more too"― Samuel Richardson
34 .”You don't marry someone you can live with — you marry someone you cannot live without."― Anonymous
35 .”In every good marriage, it helps sometimes to be blind; deaf also would not be bad"―
36. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” – Groucho Marx
37. "The best way to stay happily married is to be prepared for anything and learn to adapt." – Unknown
38. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person”— Mignon McLaughlin
39 ."Love doesn't make the world go round; marriage does it!" — Dave Barry
40 .“There's one sure way to get nothing done: marry a man who's just got married!” ― Anonymous
41 .“If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention you what have said talk in their love language!”― Gary Chapman
42. “Getting married is like getting into a tub of hot water…after you get used too it ain't so hot!" - Minnie Pearl
43."No matter how much cats fight, there always seem be plenty of kittens" — Abraham Lincoln
44 ."My wife says I never listen to her...or something like that." — Unknown
45 ."If there ever comes a day when we can
46. “A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.
The order varies for any given year” -Paul Sweeney
47. “The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret” -Henny Youngman
48. "Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master" ― Anonymous
49. “Love may be blind but marriage is certainly an eye opener!”― Unknown
50. "Marriage isn't about age; it's about finding the right person." — Sophia Bush
51 .”My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way." — Henny Youngman
52 .“You don't marry someone you can live with – you marry someone you cannot live without!”― Anonymous
53 ."If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart I'll stay there forever" — Winnie The Pooh
54 ."To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup Whenever you're wrong admit it; Whenever you're right shut up."— Ogden Nash
55. "A happy marriage has in it all the pleasure of life, and more" – Unknown
56 .“To keep your marriage brimming with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong admit it and whenever you're right shut up."― Ogden Nash
57 .”My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.” ― Winston Churchill
58. “It takes a strong man and woman for a successful marriage; one of them must be strong enough to think that two are better than one." — Unknown
59 ."In every good marriage 'I' is replaced by 'We', except in then telling of its stories!" - Unknown
60 ."What counts most in making a happy relationship is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility."— Leo Tolstoy
61 .”Marriage isn't about finding someone you can live with…it's about finding someone who cannot live without doing so! ― Anonymous
62 . “A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.”― Dave Willis
63 ."The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." — Henny Youngman
64 .”The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and let it come in.”― Morrie Schwartz
65 ."If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention to what you have said talk in their love language!"— Gary Chapman
66 ."Your soul mate isn't the person who makes you the happiest, but the one who makes you feel the most." — Unknown
67 . “Marriage should be between two people who trust each other enough to tell each other anything and everything.” ― Anonymous
68 ."A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it
69. “Love is the only thing that can make two people sit in the middle of a bench when there’s plenty of room at both ends.” ― Bill Vaughan
70. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” ― Mignon McLaughlin
71 . "Marriage is not about age; it's about finding the right person."― Sophia Bush
72 . "There's nothing like knowing someone loves you and wants to grow old with you!" ― Unknown
73 . “The difference between an ordinary marriage and an extraordinary marriage is in giving just a little bit more,"— Unknown
74 ."A great marriage isn't something that just happens; it's something that must be created." — Fawn Weaver
75 ."When a couple has been together for many years, their memories and experiences are intertwined" - Unknown
76 ."The best way to stay married is to become best friends" — Anonymous
77. "Your spouse should be your best friend – after all you are going to spend most of your time together!" ― Anonymous
78 .“Happy Easter to the woman in my life who I can't live without – thank you for being an incredible Mom!"
79. “Love doesn't just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.” ― Ursula K. Le Guin
80 .“Marriage is an adventure, like going to war." — Gilbert K. Chesterton
81 . “A happy marriage is one that consists of two forgivers!”― Anonymous
82 ."A strong marriage requires choosing each other every day" — Unknown
83 ."The biggest challenge in marriage is learning to forgive and forget the bad days you have together" — Unknown
84 ."A great marriage isn't something that just happens; it's something that must be created" — Fawn Weaver
85 . "When two people are meant for each other no time is too long, no distance too far and nobody can keep them apart!"— Anonymous
86."You don't marry someone you can live with – you marry someone who cannot live without doing so!"― Anonymous
87."If I could offer only one piece of advice for a happy marriage: It would be 'Just don't give up.'"— Unknown
88 . “Love isn't finding the perfect person, it's seeing an imperfect person perfectly – wishing you lots of love this Easter, Mom!”
89. “A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together, but it is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” ― Dave Meurer
90. “Make your partner a priority in your life and keep the romance alive by expressing your love for each other every day”― Anonymous
91 . "The most important thing in a marriage is not happiness, but stability." — Goethe
92 . "Marriage isn't about being inseparable; it's about two people being true to each other even when they are separated" — Unknown
93 . "The happiest marriages are based on a deep mutual respect and admiration."— Amy Grant
94 ."No one can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a happy ending"— Maria Robinson
95 ."Marriage isn't something you work at; it's something that you practice every day!" -Unknown
96 ."Relationships last longer if they're built on trust rather than just infatuation" –Anonymous
97 ."Marriage means joining hands with someone else in order to reach common goals" — Unknown
98 . “Love doesn't make the world go round, but it sure makes the ride worthwhile – have a wonderful Easter, Mom!”
99. “Marriage is like a long journey through a desert; there will be obstacles, but the destination makes it all worthwhile.” ― Unknown
100 . "A marriage is not just about two people being together, it's also about finding out who you are and learning to love the person inside you" — Anonymous
101 . "It takes courage to stay in a marriage when things get tough, but that's what true love is all about" — Unknown
102 . “In a good relationship, partners should strive to bring out the best in each other.”― Rick Warren
103 . "When two hearts are meant for each other no matter how long it takes they'll always find their way back." ― Anonymous
104 . "The secret of having a successful marriage lies not so much in finding the right person as in being the right person." –Anonymous
105 ."Real love isn't based on romancing; it's based on caring,"—Unknown
106 ."Marriage isn't only made up of moments of joy, but also moments of pain" — Unknown
107 ."True happiness comes from finding someone who loves you as much as you love them!"
108. "A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity." – Paul Sweeney
109. “The greatest marriages are built on teamwork. A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace” ― Fawn Weaver
110. “When two people understand each other in their differences they can be unstoppable together!” ― Unknown
111."Marriage isn't only about romance; it's also about companionship" — Unknown
112 ."Love doesn't end when you say 'I do' but it begins with those two words!"― Anonymous
113 . "An anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday and the hopes of tomorrow!"—Anonymous
114 ."Marriage isn't just finding someone you can live with; it's finding someone who will make your life better than before" —Unknown
115 . "If I'd have known that getting married would make me this happy then I'd have done it years ago!"—Anonymous
116 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up
117. “Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story.” ― Jennifer Smith
118. "In marriage do thou be wise: prefer the person before money, virtue before beauty, the mind before the body." — William Penn
119 . "A happy marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love." — Pearl S. Buck
120 ."A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with same person" –Mignon McLaughlin
121 . "Love doesn't make the world go round; it makes all worlds worth going around!" — Anonymous
122 . “The greatest marriages are built on teamwork; a mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love & grace”― Fawn Weaver
123 ."When two people understand each other in their differences they can be unstoppable together!"—Unknown
124 . “It's not about being inseparable; It's about being separated but still connected at heart!” ― Unknown
125 ."If I'd have known someone so perfect existed I'd have waited my whole life to find you – happy Easter with lots of love, Mom!”
126. “A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.” – Paul Sweeney
127. “Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash!”― Joyce Brothers
128. “If you want a great marriage then don't let yourself be controlled by your emotions or dominated by your feelings" — Unknown
129. "Love isn't about holding hands and spending time together; it's about making memories that last forever!"—Unknown
130 . "The beauty of marriage lies in its ability to bring two complete strangers into one happy family!"—Anonymous
131 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up." ― Ogden Nash
132 . "Each day of married life should make us better than before" — Anonymous
133 . "In an ideal relationship one doesn't have to try hard because both parties work towards each other's happiness." ― Unknown
134 . “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times always with same person”― Mignon McLaughlin
135 .“True happiness comes from finding the one you love, and I'm so blessed to have found you – wishing you a very joyous Easter, Mom!”
136. “Marriage is a fine institution but I’m not ready for an institution yet.”― Mae West
137. “Love isn't cancelled, wedding are postponed!”― Unknown
138. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret!” ― Henny Youngman
139. "A funny thing happens when you marry your best friend; they become even better!" — Anonymous
140 . "It's funny how the same problem that can make us so mad can also make us laugh" —Anonymous
141 . "Marriage is like jogging through life together with someone who doesn't take shortcuts."—Unknown
142 . "It takes two special people to make a wonderful marriage and the both of you have it all!" —Unknown
143 ."If I had one wish I'd want to be married again and again in every lifetime."—Anonymous
144 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up" – Ogden Nash
145 . “A great marriage is not when the perfect couple comes together, it's when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy
146. “My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.”― Winston Churchill
147. “A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.” – Paul Sweeney
148 . "The funny thing about marriage is that you think it will change everything but really it changes nothing."—Unknown
149 ."Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years" — Ogden Nash
150 . "I don't know why people get married; if I wanted a joke I'd just read the vows out loud!"— Anonymous
151 . “No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman." ― Honore de Balzac
152 . "Marriage isn't only a bond between two people; it's also a union between two families!" —Anonymous
153 ."When you realize your own worth you start looking for someone who can value your life not someone who can give it away" ― Unknown
154 . “First comes love then comes marriage, then comes a bundle of joy to fill your hearts with lots of happiness – Happy Easter to both of you!”
155. “Marriage: Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.”―Pauline Thomason
156. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret!” ― Henny Youngman
157. "When you realize your own worth you start looking for someone who can value your life not someone who can give it away" ― Unknown
158 . "A funny thing happens when you marry your best friend; they become even better!" — Anonymous
159 . "Love isn't about holding hands and spending time together; it's about making memories that last forever!"—Unknown
160 ."The beauty of marriage lies in its ability to bring two complete strangers into one happy family!"—Anonymous
161 . “No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman." ― Honore de Balzac
162 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up."― Ogden Nash
163. “It takes three to make love, not two: you, your spouse, and God." – Frederick K.C Price
164. “Marriage is a funny thing…it’s an agreement between two people to be together until one of them gets tired and quits”― Unknown
165. “The funny thing about marriage is that you think it will change everything but really it changes nothing!”― Anonymous
166. "It's funny how the same problem that can make us so mad can also make us laugh" —Anonymous
167 . "Love isn't cancelled, weddings are postponed!" ― Unknown
168. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times always with the same person." ― Mignon McLaughlin
169 ."I don't know why people get married; if I wanted a joke I'd just read the vows out loud!"— Anonymous
170 . "If I had one wish I'd want to be married again and again in every lifetime."—Anonymous
171 . “One advantage of marriage: If you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until maybe you fall in again" – Judith Viorst
172. “A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together.;
173. “It's funny how two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different" —Anonymous
174. “The funny thing about marriage is that you think it will change everything but really it changes nothing!”― Anonymous
175. "In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."—Woody Allen
176 . "A funny thing happens when you marry your best friend; they become even better!" — Anonymous
177 . “Marriage isn't only a bond between two people; it's also a union between two families!" ―Anonymous
178 ."Love isn't cancelled, weddings are postponed!" ― Unknown
179 . “First comes love then comes marriage...then come some arguments about whose turn it is to take out the bin”― Unknown
180 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up."― Ogden Nash
181. "When two people are under one roof, there will always be disagreements…but thank goodness for makeup sex." -Unknown
182. "Behind every successful man is a surprised woman"
183. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.”― Will Ferrell
184. "There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again." -Clint Eastwood
185 . “Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.” ― H L Mencken
186 ."My advice on getting married: if you're thinking about it, don't do it!"— Anonymous
187 . “Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts" –Jeff Foxworthy
188 . "Marriage isn't just walking hand in hand through life; sometimes it means holding each other up when things go wrong." —Anonymous
189 . "When two people are under one roof, there will always be disagreements…but thank goodness for makeup sex." -Unknown
190 ."A funny thing happens when you marry your best friend; they become even better!" — Anonymous
191 ."A great marriage isn't something that just happens; it requires commitment patience understanding compromise respect and
192. “If you want your wife to listen and pay attention to every detail, talk in your sleep.”― Unknown
193. “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." ― Ruth Bell Graham
194. "Love isn't cancelled, weddings are postponed!" ― Unknown
195 . “The funny thing about marriage is that you think it will change everything but really it changes nothing!”― Anonymous
196 . "Marriage isn't only a bond between two people; it's also a union between two families!" ―Anonymous
197 ."Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are."― Will Ferrell
198 . "In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."—Woody Allen
199 . "It takes three to make love, not two: you, your spouse, and God" – Frederick K.C Price
200 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up."― Ogden Nash
201. “A funny thing happens when you marry your best friend; they become even better!" — Anonymous
202. "Love isn't cancelled, weddings are postponed!" ― Unknown
203. “The funny thing about marriage is that you think it will change everything but really it changes nothing!”― Anonymous
204 . "Marriage isn't only a bond between two people; it's also a union between two families!" ―Anonymous
205 ."Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are."― Will Ferrell
206 . "In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."—Woody Allen
207 . "It takes three to make love, not two: you, your spouse and God" – Frederick K.C Price
208 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up."― Ogden Nash
209. “If you want your wife to listen and pay attention to every detail talk in your sleep.”― Unknown
210 . “A happy marriage is a long journey of companionship, love and laughter – wishing the two of you lots of joy this Easter!”
211. “The secret to having a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re right if you love to be with them all the time.” ―Julia Child
212 . “A wedding ring is just an expensive paperweight if you don't have the commitment and love behind it!”― Anonymous
213 . "For better or worse, but never for lunch." – Dorothy Parker
214 . “Marriage isn't a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get It is something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day.”― Barbara De Angelis
215 . "Behind every successful man is an astonished woman."— Maryon Pearson
216 ."Here's to my wife: My constant friend, my faithful partner and my one true love" —Anonymous
217 . "My husband was reassuring on our wedding day: 'Don't worry darling, I'm sure it will pass'". – Unknown
218 ."When two people are under one roof, there will always be quarrels…but thank goodness for makeup sex!" —Unknown
219 .“I married Miss Right; I just didn't know her first name was 'Always' – wishing both of you a very happy Easter together!”
220. “Marriage isn’t a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get, it is something you do." –Barbara De Angelis
221. "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." —Mignon McLaughlin
222. "Love is an alliance of friendship and animal instinct."—George Santayana
223. "The best thing about being married is that I no longer have to deal with strange men flirting with me at bars!"— Anonymous
224 . “Being someone's first love may be great but to be their last is beyond perfect!”― Unknown
225 . “No one knows what marriage means until they've been married. Then it's too late" ―Oscar Wilde
226 ."Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one"– Benjamin Franklin
227 . "Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm... As you grow older, remember: You have another hand: The first are God's." - Sam Levenson
Please note
https://dollverse.com/ site is valuable resource, but when it comes to matters of health, always consult with a trained medical professional.
Never rely solely on digital information.
Taking into account your individual situation will help you make the best decisions for your own wellbeing.
https://dollverse.com/ site serves as an informative resource, but should never be used to diagnose or treat a medical condition.
When it comes to your health, always consult with a qualified doctor for the best advice and care tailored specifically for you!
https://dollverse.com/ site and the materials and information it contains are not intended to, and do not constitute, medical or other health advice or diagnosis and should not be used as such.
You should always consult with a qualified physician or health professional about your specific circumstances.
Disclosure: Some of the links in this article may be affiliate links, which can provide compensation to me at no cost to you if you decide to purchase. This site is not intended to provide financial advice and is for entertainment only.