227 BEST Funny Wedding Speech Quotes (Selected)

Are you looking for funny wedding speech quotes to add some light-hearted humor to your big day? If so, then you have come to the right place!

Wedding speeches are a great way to express love and gratitude between two families, but they don’t always have to be serious.

Adding funny wedding speech quotes is an excellent way to break the ice and get everyone laughing.

From funny one-liners to hilarious stories, these quotes will make your guests chuckle with delight.

So if you’re ready for some good old fashioned laughter, read on for 227 of my favorite funny wedding speech quotes!

1. “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half-shut afterwards.” - Benjamin Franklin

2. “To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up." - Ogden Nash

3. "The most important four words for a successful marriage: I will listen." - Unknown

4. “Marriage is give and take—you’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway!" - Joe Lewis

5. “A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong." – Mickey Rooney

6. “Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water . . . after you get used to it, it ain't so hot" – Minnie Pearl

7. "Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock." — Unknown

8. "My advice to couples who are about to marry....Don't!" — Henny Youngman

9. “Marriage is a wonderful invention; but then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.” - Billy Connolly

10. “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." – Ruth Bell Graham

11. "The secret of a successful marriage remains a secret." – Henny Youngman

12. “I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of

your life." — Rita Rudner

13. "Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through nose of the gentleman".― Herbert Spencer

14. "It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss"— Unknown

15 .“Love blooms where there are no demands, where there is total acceptance without conditions or expectations."— Osho

16 .”If I get married, I want to be very married" — Audrey Hepburn

17 .”My wife and I were happy for twenty years…then we met each other!" — Rodney Dangerfield

18 ."There's only one way to have

19. "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." – Mignon McLaughlin

20. “It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”– Rita Rudner

21. "Marriage is like a deck of cards; In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond" — Unknown

22. “After seven years of marriage I still feel like my wife and I are on our honeymoon every day!”— Harry Connick Jr

23. “I don't think anyone should get married before they're thirty-five; you've got to get your own head sorted out first."― Hugh Grant

24. "The greatest marriages are built on teamwork - A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and lots of patience." - Unknown

25 .“Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master" ― Anonymous

26 .“If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention to what you have to say, talk in their love language!"― Gary Chapman

27. “Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!” ― Anonymous

28. “The most important four words for a successful marriage: I will listen." - Unknown

29. "Love blooms where there are no demands, where there is total acceptance without conditions or expectations."— Osho

30. “When you make a sacrifice in marriage, you're sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship." — Joseph Campbell

31. "It's funny how when it comes to love the only people who don't talk about it are married couples!" - Unknown

32. “Being someone's first love may be great, but being their last love is beyond perfect" – Bob Marley

33 .“A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendships, all the enjoyment of sense and reason – and indeed more too"― Samuel Richardson

34 .”You don't marry someone you can live with — you marry someone you cannot live without."― Anonymous

35 .”In every good marriage, it helps sometimes to be blind; deaf also would not be bad"―

36. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” – Groucho Marx

37. "The best way to stay happily married is to be prepared for anything and learn to adapt." – Unknown

38. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person”— Mignon McLaughlin

39 ."Love doesn't make the world go round; marriage does it!" — Dave Barry

40 .“There's one sure way to get nothing done: marry a man who's just got married!” ― Anonymous

41 .“If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention you what have said talk in their love language!”― Gary Chapman

42. “Getting married is like getting into a tub of hot water…after you get used too it ain't so hot!" - Minnie Pearl

43."No matter how much cats fight, there always seem be plenty of kittens" — Abraham Lincoln

44 ."My wife says I never listen to her...or something like that." — Unknown

45 ."If there ever comes a day when we can

46. “A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.

The order varies for any given year” -Paul Sweeney

47. “The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret” -Henny Youngman

48. "Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master" ― Anonymous

49. “Love may be blind but marriage is certainly an eye opener!”― Unknown

50. "Marriage isn't about age; it's about finding the right person." — Sophia Bush

51 .”My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way." — Henny Youngman

52 .“You don't marry someone you can live with – you marry someone you cannot live without!”― Anonymous

53 ."If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart I'll stay there forever" — Winnie The Pooh

54 ."To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup Whenever you're wrong admit it; Whenever you're right shut up."— Ogden Nash

55. "A happy marriage has in it all the pleasure of life, and more" – Unknown

56 .“To keep your marriage brimming with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong admit it and whenever you're right shut up."― Ogden Nash

57 .”My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.” ― Winston Churchill

58. “It takes a strong man and woman for a successful marriage; one of them must be strong enough to think that two are better than one." — Unknown

59 ."In every good marriage 'I' is replaced by 'We', except in then telling of its stories!" - Unknown

60 ."What counts most in making a happy relationship is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility."— Leo Tolstoy

61 .”Marriage isn't about finding someone you can live with…it's about finding someone who cannot live without doing so! ― Anonymous

62 . “A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.”― Dave Willis

63 ."The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." — Henny Youngman

64 .”The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and let it come in.”― Morrie Schwartz

65 ."If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention to what you have said talk in their love language!"— Gary Chapman

66 ."Your soul mate isn't the person who makes you the happiest, but the one who makes you feel the most." — Unknown

67 . “Marriage should be between two people who trust each other enough to tell each other anything and everything.” ― Anonymous

68 ."A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it

69. “Love is the only thing that can make two people sit in the middle of a bench when there’s plenty of room at both ends.” ― Bill Vaughan

70. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” ― Mignon McLaughlin

71 . "Marriage is not about age; it's about finding the right person."― Sophia Bush

72 . "There's nothing like knowing someone loves you and wants to grow old with you!" ― Unknown

73 . “The difference between an ordinary marriage and an extraordinary marriage is in giving just a little bit more,"— Unknown

74 ."A great marriage isn't something that just happens; it's something that must be created." — Fawn Weaver

75 ."When a couple has been together for many years, their memories and experiences are intertwined" - Unknown

76 ."The best way to stay married is to become best friends" — Anonymous

77. "Your spouse should be your best friend – after all you are going to spend most of your time together!" ― Anonymous

78 .“Happy Easter to the woman in my life who I can't live without – thank you for being an incredible Mom!"

79. “Love doesn't just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.” ― Ursula K. Le Guin

80 .“Marriage is an adventure, like going to war." — Gilbert K. Chesterton

81 . “A happy marriage is one that consists of two forgivers!”― Anonymous

82 ."A strong marriage requires choosing each other every day" — Unknown

83 ."The biggest challenge in marriage is learning to forgive and forget the bad days you have together" — Unknown

84 ."A great marriage isn't something that just happens; it's something that must be created" — Fawn Weaver

85 . "When two people are meant for each other no time is too long, no distance too far and nobody can keep them apart!"— Anonymous

86."You don't marry someone you can live with – you marry someone who cannot live without doing so!"― Anonymous

87."If I could offer only one piece of advice for a happy marriage: It would be 'Just don't give up.'"— Unknown

88 . “Love isn't finding the perfect person, it's seeing an imperfect person perfectly – wishing you lots of love this Easter, Mom!”

89. “A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together, but it is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” ― Dave Meurer

90. “Make your partner a priority in your life and keep the romance alive by expressing your love for each other every day”― Anonymous

91 . "The most important thing in a marriage is not happiness, but stability." — Goethe

92 . "Marriage isn't about being inseparable; it's about two people being true to each other even when they are separated" — Unknown

93 . "The happiest marriages are based on a deep mutual respect and admiration."— Amy Grant

94 ."No one can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a happy ending"— Maria Robinson

95 ."Marriage isn't something you work at; it's something that you practice every day!" -Unknown

96 ."Relationships last longer if they're built on trust rather than just infatuation" –Anonymous

97 ."Marriage means joining hands with someone else in order to reach common goals" — Unknown

98 . “Love doesn't make the world go round, but it sure makes the ride worthwhile – have a wonderful Easter, Mom!”

99. “Marriage is like a long journey through a desert; there will be obstacles, but the destination makes it all worthwhile.” ― Unknown

100 . "A marriage is not just about two people being together, it's also about finding out who you are and learning to love the person inside you" — Anonymous

101 . "It takes courage to stay in a marriage when things get tough, but that's what true love is all about" — Unknown

102 . “In a good relationship, partners should strive to bring out the best in each other.”― Rick Warren

103 . "When two hearts are meant for each other no matter how long it takes they'll always find their way back." ― Anonymous

104 . "The secret of having a successful marriage lies not so much in finding the right person as in being the right person." –Anonymous

105 ."Real love isn't based on romancing; it's based on caring,"—Unknown

106 ."Marriage isn't only made up of moments of joy, but also moments of pain" — Unknown

107 ."True happiness comes from finding someone who loves you as much as you love them!"

108. "A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity." – Paul Sweeney

109. “The greatest marriages are built on teamwork. A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace” ― Fawn Weaver

110. “When two people understand each other in their differences they can be unstoppable together!” ― Unknown

111."Marriage isn't only about romance; it's also about companionship" — Unknown

112 ."Love doesn't end when you say 'I do' but it begins with those two words!"― Anonymous

113 . "An anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday and the hopes of tomorrow!"—Anonymous

114 ."Marriage isn't just finding someone you can live with; it's finding someone who will make your life better than before" —Unknown

115 . "If I'd have known that getting married would make me this happy then I'd have done it years ago!"—Anonymous

116 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up

117. “Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story.” ― Jennifer Smith

118. "In marriage do thou be wise: prefer the person before money, virtue before beauty, the mind before the body." — William Penn

119 . "A happy marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love." — Pearl S. Buck

120 ."A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with same person" –Mignon McLaughlin

121 . "Love doesn't make the world go round; it makes all worlds worth going around!" — Anonymous

122 . “The greatest marriages are built on teamwork; a mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love & grace”― Fawn Weaver

123 ."When two people understand each other in their differences they can be unstoppable together!"—Unknown

124 . “It's not about being inseparable; It's about being separated but still connected at heart!” ― Unknown

125 ."If I'd have known someone so perfect existed I'd have waited my whole life to find you – happy Easter with lots of love, Mom!”

126. “A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.” – Paul Sweeney

127. “Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash!”― Joyce Brothers

128. “If you want a great marriage then don't let yourself be controlled by your emotions or dominated by your feelings" — Unknown

129. "Love isn't about holding hands and spending time together; it's about making memories that last forever!"—Unknown

130 . "The beauty of marriage lies in its ability to bring two complete strangers into one happy family!"—Anonymous

131 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up." ― Ogden Nash

132 . "Each day of married life should make us better than before" — Anonymous

133 . "In an ideal relationship one doesn't have to try hard because both parties work towards each other's happiness." ― Unknown

134 . “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times always with same person”― Mignon McLaughlin

135 .“True happiness comes from finding the one you love, and I'm so blessed to have found you – wishing you a very joyous Easter, Mom!”

136. “Marriage is a fine institution but I’m not ready for an institution yet.”― Mae West

137. “Love isn't cancelled, wedding are postponed!”― Unknown

138. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret!” ― Henny Youngman

139. "A funny thing happens when you marry your best friend; they become even better!" — Anonymous

140 . "It's funny how the same problem that can make us so mad can also make us laugh" —Anonymous

141 . "Marriage is like jogging through life together with someone who doesn't take shortcuts."—Unknown

142 . "It takes two special people to make a wonderful marriage and the both of you have it all!" —Unknown

143 ."If I had one wish I'd want to be married again and again in every lifetime."—Anonymous

144 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up" – Ogden Nash

145 . “A great marriage is not when the perfect couple comes together, it's when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy

146. “My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.”― Winston Churchill

147. “A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.” – Paul Sweeney

148 . "The funny thing about marriage is that you think it will change everything but really it changes nothing."—Unknown

149 ."Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years" — Ogden Nash

150 . "I don't know why people get married; if I wanted a joke I'd just read the vows out loud!"— Anonymous

151 . “No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman." ― Honore de Balzac

152 . "Marriage isn't only a bond between two people; it's also a union between two families!" —Anonymous

153 ."When you realize your own worth you start looking for someone who can value your life not someone who can give it away" ― Unknown

154 . “First comes love then comes marriage, then comes a bundle of joy to fill your hearts with lots of happiness – Happy Easter to both of you!”

155. “Marriage: Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.”―Pauline Thomason

156. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret!” ― Henny Youngman

157. "When you realize your own worth you start looking for someone who can value your life not someone who can give it away" ― Unknown

158 . "A funny thing happens when you marry your best friend; they become even better!" — Anonymous

159 . "Love isn't about holding hands and spending time together; it's about making memories that last forever!"—Unknown

160 ."The beauty of marriage lies in its ability to bring two complete strangers into one happy family!"—Anonymous

161 . “No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman." ― Honore de Balzac

162 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up."― Ogden Nash

163. “It takes three to make love, not two: you, your spouse, and God." – Frederick K.C Price

164. “Marriage is a funny thing…it’s an agreement between two people to be together until one of them gets tired and quits”― Unknown

165. “The funny thing about marriage is that you think it will change everything but really it changes nothing!”― Anonymous

166. "It's funny how the same problem that can make us so mad can also make us laugh" —Anonymous

167 . "Love isn't cancelled, weddings are postponed!" ― Unknown

168. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times always with the same person." ― Mignon McLaughlin

169 ."I don't know why people get married; if I wanted a joke I'd just read the vows out loud!"— Anonymous

170 . "If I had one wish I'd want to be married again and again in every lifetime."—Anonymous

171 . “One advantage of marriage: If you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until maybe you fall in again" – Judith Viorst

172. “A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together.;

173. “It's funny how two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different" —Anonymous

174. “The funny thing about marriage is that you think it will change everything but really it changes nothing!”― Anonymous

175. "In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."—Woody Allen

176 . "A funny thing happens when you marry your best friend; they become even better!" — Anonymous

177 . “Marriage isn't only a bond between two people; it's also a union between two families!" ―Anonymous

178 ."Love isn't cancelled, weddings are postponed!" ― Unknown

179 . “First comes love then comes marriage...then come some arguments about whose turn it is to take out the bin”― Unknown

180 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up."― Ogden Nash

181. "When two people are under one roof, there will always be disagreements…but thank goodness for makeup sex." -Unknown

182. "Behind every successful man is a surprised woman"

183. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.”― Will Ferrell

184. "There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again." -Clint Eastwood

185 . “Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.” ― H L Mencken

186 ."My advice on getting married: if you're thinking about it, don't do it!"— Anonymous

187 . “Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts" –Jeff Foxworthy

188 . "Marriage isn't just walking hand in hand through life; sometimes it means holding each other up when things go wrong." —Anonymous

189 . "When two people are under one roof, there will always be disagreements…but thank goodness for makeup sex." -Unknown

190 ."A funny thing happens when you marry your best friend; they become even better!" — Anonymous

191 ."A great marriage isn't something that just happens; it requires commitment patience understanding compromise respect and

192. “If you want your wife to listen and pay attention to every detail, talk in your sleep.”― Unknown

193. “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." ― Ruth Bell Graham

194. "Love isn't cancelled, weddings are postponed!" ― Unknown

195 . “The funny thing about marriage is that you think it will change everything but really it changes nothing!”― Anonymous

196 . "Marriage isn't only a bond between two people; it's also a union between two families!" ―Anonymous

197 ."Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are."― Will Ferrell

198 . "In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."—Woody Allen

199 . "It takes three to make love, not two: you, your spouse, and God" – Frederick K.C Price

200 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up."― Ogden Nash

201. “A funny thing happens when you marry your best friend; they become even better!" — Anonymous

202. "Love isn't cancelled, weddings are postponed!" ― Unknown

203. “The funny thing about marriage is that you think it will change everything but really it changes nothing!”― Anonymous

204 . "Marriage isn't only a bond between two people; it's also a union between two families!" ―Anonymous

205 ."Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are."― Will Ferrell

206 . "In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."—Woody Allen

207 . "It takes three to make love, not two: you, your spouse and God" – Frederick K.C Price

208 ."To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right shut up."― Ogden Nash

209. “If you want your wife to listen and pay attention to every detail talk in your sleep.”― Unknown

210 . “A happy marriage is a long journey of companionship, love and laughter – wishing the two of you lots of joy this Easter!”

211. “The secret to having a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re right if you love to be with them all the time.” ―Julia Child

212 . “A wedding ring is just an expensive paperweight if you don't have the commitment and love behind it!”― Anonymous

213 . "For better or worse, but never for lunch." – Dorothy Parker

214 . “Marriage isn't a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get It is something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day.”― Barbara De Angelis

215 . "Behind every successful man is an astonished woman."— Maryon Pearson

216 ."Here's to my wife: My constant friend, my faithful partner and my one true love" —Anonymous

217 . "My husband was reassuring on our wedding day: 'Don't worry darling, I'm sure it will pass'". – Unknown

218 ."When two people are under one roof, there will always be quarrels…but thank goodness for makeup sex!" —Unknown

219 .“I married Miss Right; I just didn't know her first name was 'Always' – wishing both of you a very happy Easter together!”

220. “Marriage isn’t a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get, it is something you do." –Barbara De Angelis

221. "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." —Mignon McLaughlin

222. "Love is an alliance of friendship and animal instinct."—George Santayana

223. "The best thing about being married is that I no longer have to deal with strange men flirting with me at bars!"— Anonymous

224 . “Being someone's first love may be great but to be their last is beyond perfect!”― Unknown

225 . “No one knows what marriage means until they've been married. Then it's too late" ―Oscar Wilde

226 ."Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one"– Benjamin Franklin

227 . "Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm... As you grow older, remember: You have another hand: The first are God's." - Sam Levenson

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