7 BEST Example Of A Proper Quarrel (Mad Girl and a Calm Boy)

Olivia M Williams Apr 11, 2023
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No more no less. A proper quarrel…. at it’s best. (exaggerated and written out for a preschooler to understand better).

This is a manual, specially exaggerated to show the point:

Mad Girl: “What do you mean you don’t care how I feel?! How can you say that after everything I’ve been through?!”

Calm Boyfriend: “I’m not saying that I don’t care how you’re feeling, but

but it’s important to try and understand how both sides of a disagreement are feeling.

Let me explain how I’m feeling so that we can come to some kind of resolution.”

Mad Girl: “No! You’re not listening to me at all!

What kind of resolution could there possibly be if you refuse to hear how I feel?!”

Calm Boyfriend: “I am listening, but it’s important for us to try and understand each other’s perspectives.

Hear me out — how do you think this situation could be resolved?”

Mad Girl: “That’s easy!

Just agree with me and acknowledge how much I’m hurting!”

Calm Boyfriend: “I understand why that feels like the best solution right now, but it’s important for us both to take responsibility for our feelings here.

What other solutions might there be?”

Mad Girl: “Well, maybe if you would just apologize and recognize how wrong you were…”

Calm Boyfriend: “Apology is always an option, but what do you think would be most helpful in this situation?

Is there anything else we should talk about or consider before coming up with a plan?”

Mad Girl: “Ugh, fine.

Well…what if instead of apologizing we just took a step back and tried to look at things from each other’s perspective?

That way we could better understand how both parties are feeling without getting too attached to our own opinions.”

Calm Boyfriend: “That sounds like a great idea!

Taking a step back could really help give clarity as to why either side sees things differently and lead towards reaching a resolution faster than before.

Is there anything else that might help us find common ground?”

Mad Girl: “Maybe if we focus on how we feel by using “I” sentences such as “I feel frustrated when…”

then maybe we can reach an understanding without resorting to name-calling or making generalizations like ‘you always do this’ or ‘you never do that’.

That rarely helps anyone in any argument.”

Calm Boyfriend: “That’s true — focusing on how we feel by using “I” statements is much more productive than attacking each other personally.

It also helps open lines of communication between both sides involved so resolution becomes easier reached.

Do you have any other ideas on how best to argue properly?”

Mad Girl: “Yes — one thing we should keep in mind is setting boundaries on how far arguments will go

Once those boundaries have been reached, then it may be better to move onto something else rather than pushing past them onto something else entirely.”

Calm Boyfriend: “That makes sense — having clear limits set beforehand can make all the difference in resolving disputes quickly and effectively.

Are there any other tips or tricks we should keep in mind when arguing properly?”

Mad Girl: “One last thing — don’t forget that any argument is an opportunity learn how handle disagreements better in future.

Take away lessons from how things went and use that knowledge next time you find yourself in similar situation with somebody else again.”

Calm Boyfriend: “That’s a great point! Arguing is never fun, but it can be an important part of how we grow and how relationships change over time.

With all these things in mind, I’m sure any dispute we’ve had before will soon come resolved much quicker than expected. Good luck!”

There you have it — how to argue properly in a nutshell!

All that’s left for you to do now is put these tips into practice the next time you find yourself in a disagreement with someone and watch how quickly things start to get better!

With patience, understanding and clear boundaries, arguing can become easier and more productive — so don’t forget to use what you’ve learned here to turn any argument into an opportunity to learn and grow! Best of luck.

Happy arguing!

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Disclosure:  Some of the links in this article may be affiliate links, which can provide compensation to me at no cost to you if you decide to purchase. This site is not intended to provide financial advice and is for entertainment only.